Why is the Bible so silent about domestic abuse in the home. Let me explain. In the Old Testament, a woman is not allowed by the Law to divorce her husband. Only the man can initiate divorce. If a man divorces his wife inappropriately, Scripture suggests its a form of abuse (Mal. 2:14-17). God says he wears a coat of violence and God will not hear his prayer (1 Peter 3:7). God tells us all to endure suffering, persecutions, and the like from unbelievers. Believers in the Church are subject to Church discipline. This discipline will be in the form of separating the believer from the church body of believers and to treat them as tax collectors. Hoping the separation will hand such a person over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that they might be saved in the end (1 Cor. 5:5). However, if such a believer repents of abuse, then the believers should accept him back into the church least he have exceeding sorrow upon sorrow (2 Cor. 2:5-7).
But what about the New Testament? Doesn’t the New Testament allow a women to divorce for abuse? The answer to that is, NO. A woman does not have the permission of Moses’ divorce extended to her. Some people twist Scripture and try to use 1 Cor. 7:15 as a way to justify a believer divorcing a Christian that acts as an unbeliever. However, once again, 1 Cor. 7:15 is not Paul giving permission for a believer to divorce an unbeliever if they want to stay married (1 Cor. 7:12-14), but permission for the believer (man or woman) to initiate a divorce from an unbeliever if the “unbeliever” no longer want to stay in the marriage and wishes to depart. The divorce is according to the unbelievers will.
A woman is not to separate herself from her husband unless it is by mutual consent and that for a very short time, least Satan tempt you or your husband sexually due to your lack of self-control (1 Cor. 7:2-9). Common sense does come into play for a day or two of separation for domestic abuse for protecting you and your children, but overall separation from a spouse for a long time is not permitted.
What about calling the police? Although this is not expressly permitted, it would be discouraged. For Paul says we are not to bring legal matters between believers to the outside world to judge, but that judgement should be done inside the church. Although this is not expressly stated between a husband and a wife, accountability will be helpful. If there is abuse, a man should be counseled by an older man in the church, and the woman should seek counseling by an older woman in the church (Titus 2:4-9). Marriage counseling is not a biblical tactic that believers should take. This is unscritptural and oftentimes problematic. There is safely in the multitude of counselors, but these counselors should be in private and separate. Never a man with a woman, or a woman with a man.
All in all, I hope I offered some Scriptural advice that will help in this matter. We are not to seek the outside world to solve the believers disagreements. Do be mindful that just because someone, that be guy or girl, goes to church does not make them a Christian. Only those that are baptized and have produced fruits in repenting. Men are not to abuse their wives, and wives are not to divorce their husbands. Men do not punish wives as a child or according to slave laws as seen in the Old Testament.
Hope this helps.
Michael Sayen
sales4jesus's Blog 